Post M

The Entangled Storytelling of a Question

Tag: creative process

Paris, 12ème arrondissement

Cher lecteur,

hier s’est tenue une répétition ouverte à laquelle ont participé 9 personnes entre famille et amis. Je tiens à les remercier toutes et tous pour leur participation, qui nous est bien précieuse à ce moment d’évolution de POST•M. Leur présence nous a permis de nous rendre compte des moments à re-étudier, à re-travailler, et surtout elle m’a permis de comprendre le manque de continuité dans la présentation des différentes aspects dramaturgiques de la pièce.

Je suis donc prête à me relancer dans un travail de création de fond, d’articulation des différents éléments théâtraux et conceptuels. Voilà donc mon travail pour les trois prochains jours : m’assoir et écrire, noter, débattre sur papier quelle est la structure de la pièce en sont entièreté, quels sont les points à l’intérieur de celle-ci à élargir, agrandir, remesurer, et quels sont les moments à créer tout court.

Le tout avec un peu de répétitions pour ne pas perdre le goût.

Bon weekend !

Nerina

Paris, 12th arrondissement

Dear reader,

just to follow up on yesterday’s post. I do know. Or, to put it plainly, I know a little more than yesterday. Anne Bogart’s words are always a comfort to me when panic sets in and I have no sense of direction. Yes, I will always feel a sense of inadequacy or inability to convey my own meaning, but there is also a space in myself where things do get clear once I commit to making them clear.

I spent most of this morning typing up my notes from yesterday, and they made sense. Interaction and community building are my focus in this creative process, as hard as that is while rehearsing and preparing the encounter with the audience. Narrative-building for identification purposes is not on my list of priorities. And characterization is, as everything in this piece, a question of choices, bold ones, and layering. Layering, layering, layering. Layers allow perspectives, and they allow the development of individual participation and collective strategy. As well as questioning. Where questioning brings constructive doubt, and constructive doubt allows self-observation, awareness and imagining something different, maybe more powerful, maybe less, but always innovating.

With Parc de Belleville ground under my feet,

Nerina

Paris, 12th arrondissement

Dear reader,

“Every time I begin to work on a new production I feel as though I am out of my league; that I know nothing and have no notion how to begin and I’m sure that someone else should be doing my job, someone assured, who knows what to do, someone who is really professional. I feel unbalanced, uncomfortable and out of place. I feel like a sham. In short, I am terrified.” Anne Bogart, A Director Prepares. London and New York: Routledge (2001). pp. 84

This is were I stand today. On the verge of creation, terrified. Terrified that I am not expressing myself correctly, and letting myself be misguided by other people’s expressions. That I am not filtering correctly what POST•M should be about. That I do not have the knowledge and the analysis needed for it. That my artistic abilities are will never be compelling enough.

And yet I know that I have moved before. And that, if I have come so far, it is out of need. So the road ahead must be walked somehow.

“When I am lost in rehearsal, when I am stymied and have no idea what to do next or how to solve a problem, I know that this is the moment to make a leap. Because directing is intuitive, it involves trembling and terror into the unknown. Right there, in that moment, in that rehearsal, I have to say, ‘I know!’ and start walking towards the stage. During the crisis of the walk, something must happen; some insight, some idea. […] I create the crisis in rehearsal to get out of my own way. I create despite myself and my limitations, my private terror and my hesitancy. In unbalance and falling lie the potential to create.” ibid. pp.86

Here I am. Lost and terrified. Letting the crisis be there, so that that decision, that potential to create can happen.

In the walk,

Nerina

Paris, 12ème arrondissement

Cher lecteur,

POST•M est arrivé à ce que j’appelle un point de maturation, c’est-à-dire à ce point où les idées doivent être transformées en gestes, actions, moments dramatiques, études et création de personnages, séquences et développement précis et motivés. Pour faire ce travail, il me faut du vide et du silence. Pour créer une certaine abstraction et distance qui permettent de distiller les discours et mouvements articulés jusqu’aujourd’hui.

Aujourd’hui a donc été ma journée de silence. Du vide créatif. Du manque d’articulation et de cohérence séquentielle artistique. Aujourd’hui j’ai plané, afin que demain ce soit une journée active. Pour écrire et réfléchir à comment défaire les noeux, comment créer une logique dramatique, comment ancrer les concepts que je retourne dans mon imaginaire depuis un plus d’un an dans une réalité bougée, parlée, chantée, photographiée et photographiante. Demain, ce sera una journée de précision.

Sur le fil des pensées,

Nerina

Parigi, 12esimo arrondissement

Caro lettore,

è domenica mattina, e si è svolta un’altra settimana di prove. Intensa, determinante, fondamenta(le). Con l’arrivo di Heather, è apparsa all’improvviso la necessità di direzione e concretezza. In tre passi e due movimenti, con l’accompagnamento di ognuno dei membri della compagnia, concretezza e direzione hanno cominciato a svilupparsi.

Ogni processo creativo, per me, è complesso, sorprendente, ma anche molto preciso nel suo sviluppo. Passo anni ad accumulare materiale – visivo, concettuale, sperimentale, citazioni, referenze, osservazioni – che poi viene mescolato, agitato, portato ad un incontro forzato. Più o meno, è come tirare palloncini pieni di pittura su un muro. Oppure lanciare in una casseruola ingredienti vari in ordine sparso. Lascio il tutto a bollire, a rigirarsi, a formare grovigli e concentrazioni autocostruttivi. E poi, ad un momento ben preciso, prima che il tutto diventi inafferrabile, acchiappo un capo. E poi un altro, e poi un altro, per formare una composizione unica. Tutte le volte diversa. Tutte le volte un po’ uguale.

Ci sono essenze, di concetto, di movimento, di composizione visiva e auditiva, di emozione e sensazione, che vogliono essere estratte. Estratte e distillate. Fino alla creazione di qualcosa che prima non esisteva. POST•M è arrivato a quel momento ben preciso, in cui le essenze hanno bisogno di essere estrapolate e raffinate. E con quel momento, l’immensa paura e la grande fiducia. Sempre legate l’una all’altra.

Non mi sorprende poi così tanto che la lana sia l’elemento scenografico principale di POST•M. Di tutti i fili che ho da tirare, non c’è modo migliore per visualizzarli. Coreografia, storia, narrazione, decostruzione, moltiplicazione delle prospettive. Tante parole, che ora stanno per diventare momenti. Da creare e condividere. Da cercare e trasformare. Per trasportare e sconvolgere.

Un po’ in quà e un po’ in là, ma certamente qui,

Nerina